


Morph

by monaboyd_archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-07
Updated: 2004-04-07
Packaged: 2018-04-11 13:50:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4437914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monaboyd_archivist/pseuds/monaboyd_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: where Dom is a changeling. Series of drabbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morph

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the Monaboyd.net Archive, which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years . To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile.

The first time Dom did it was when Billy was asleep. Billy, innocent and unexpecting, woke up to find himself face to face with Treebeard. At first he thought he’d fallen asleep on set, but he was in his own bed.

“Good morning, Billy!” said the tree, and it was Dom’s voice. Billy shot up but forgot about the blankets that twisted around him, and ended up sailing horizontally across the room. Like superman, only without the crucial ability to fly. The tree leaned in and caught him in a very unTreebeardpuppetlike movement.

The tree grinned then and Billy knew.

~

The next time it happened, Dom was a mosquito. He made a game of landing on people and flying off before they squished him. He enjoyed the game so much with Orlando, that the elf was soon screaming and prancing around like a madman trying to escape the Demented Mosquito.

Billy was starting to catch on to this. Dom would turn into one thing, annoy people for a while, and when it got boring he would turn into something else. He wouldn’t put even a germ past Dom, except that he doubted Dom even knew what a germ looked like.

~

Dom hardly knew what to do with himself when Billy got sick. Dom would hover around, trying to help, and even turned into a nurse before they recognised the accent and booted him out on his ear. So he decided to go hang out with the Mordor unit.

Frodo was just about to succumb to the ring when he looked over Sam’s shoulder and screamed.

“CUT!”

Elijah was frantic. “It’s Gollum!”

They looked and there was Gollum- not Andy in spandex, Gollum. Grinning like mad with a cheeky lopsidedness.

“Very funny Dom! While you’re here let’s get some head shots.”

~

Billy soon recovered, and there was the DomandBilly once again. Well, until Billy turned around and Dom was the most garish color of pink imaginable.

Billy rolled his eyes. “Could you get any gayer, Dom? Wait, don’t answer that.”

The flamingo curled one foot into his bright pink feathers and crooned as if to say, “Look what I can do!”

“I hear flamingos are a rare delicacy in- ow, I was kidding!”

He quit pecking Billy’s arm. “Come on, Dom, you could make yourself useful if you’re bored. Go be Gollum again. You can think of something.”

Famous last words.

~

Bleep, bleep, bleep, went the alarm clock. Billy was late for Feet again by a whole 3 hours.

The clock must have been malfunctioning because it kept going after Billy turned it off. He pressed the button again, and the screeching stopped.

He headed into the bathroom but it started up again. He turned it off again. Bleep, bleep, unplug. Bleep, bleep, SMASH.

Billy glared triumphantly down at the pieces of his possessed alarm clock. Wait, where was Dom?? Did he just smash Dom?

“DOM! Speak to me!”

The pieces moved and morphed into Dom, unhurt, laughing, on Billy’s floor.

~

After that escapade (which turned out to be in the middle of the night and not late for Feet at all), Dom stayed wisely out of Billy’s hair. For a while. Too short a while.

Billy awoke staring into two golden eyes and four furry weights on his chest. A cat was standing on Billy’s chest. “Dom...?”

“Meow?”

Billy awoke and noticed that his fur was a greyish blue and its tail was a greyish blur as it flicked back and forth.

“If you want me to pet you, Dom, you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

Growling, it stalked off.

~

Billy had stopped being amused and was now just annoyed. After the alarm clock incident, he couldn’t even use a toothbrush without multiple bashing sessions to make sure it was indeed the inanimate object its appearance claimed it to be. One night Dom had showed up in Billy’s room with a black cloak (filched from Ngila’s people, no doubt) and disturbingly real fangs, and Billy had run screaming from his trailer. It had taken quite a lot to convince Billy that even if he ‘was’ a vampire it didn’t mean he drank blood.

Billy decided it was time for retaliation.

~

On their day off, Billy bribed a makeup girl into getting him into the most hideous orc mask they had and a white Saruman wig. He pulled out the light blue dress he’d borrowed from Arwen and stepped into it, admiring in the mirror his horribly clashing appearance. He set out to stalk his friend.

He found him at their favourite restaurant eating spaghetti in his true Dom self. Billy smiled to himself in the shadows. Despite Dom’s growing capabilities of changing his appearance, he could hardly resist the chance of meeting some willing fan girl.

~

Tonight, however, the only people following him around were a few annoying paparazzi with ready cameras.

Perfect.

Billy suddenly slid onto the chair across from Dom, who looked up and screamed. Still swearing after he stopped choking on his spaghetti, he took notice of the shocked people around. Before they could do anything, he morphed into a wacky creature identical to Billy. The photographers suddenly realized they were in bad need of a beer and wandered off.

As soon as they were gone, however, Dom was himself again, though not amused. He dragged a laughing Billy out by the scruff of his elf dress.

~

He shoved Billy into his car, not caring that he was messing the wig. Once at the wheel, he turned to the giggling monstrosity in the passenger seat.

“Billy. What. The. Hell.”

“Dunno, looked like a good way to get you back about the vampire the other night.”

Dom shook his head at the steering wheel and started the car. “We’d better get that off you before Liv comes in to find a white haired Uruk Hai trying on her dresses.”

Billy was still gloating. “Actually, I like this dress. Breezy.”

“Sheer would be a better way to put it.”

~

Like the night outside them, Dom’s flat was dark and quiet. But not for long as they crashed in, Dom lent Billy some manlier clothing, and began taking the stuff off of Billy’s face with dishwashing soap.

“So, tell me again why you went out in public like that?”

“Trying to help put a little variety in your dating life, but then you had to go and mess it up for those nice people with the cameras... Say, how did you know it was me?”

“Your hands.”

Billy looked at them. “My hands?”

Dom’s eyes flickered and he turned away.

~

They would have been plastered by now but sadly, there were Feet too early in the morning for that. So they watched a movie, didn’t matter, any movie; one that Billy could try and watch throughout Dom cracking jokes every few seconds. After the movie, Billy looked over to find Dom in an unusual form.

“A microwave, Dom?”

The microwave beeped and turned back into Dom. “Dunno, just seemed appropriate. Hey, it’s uh... late. I guess I’ll see you to the door.”

Billy tried not to laugh at Dom’s retarded pun as a huge pair of glasses took his place.

~

But it really was late, and Billy found himself leaving, before coming back in sheepishly and asking for a ride home.

“Sure! Me, or my actual car?”

“I think your actual car, it’s a bit more reliable. Cars don’t suddenly turn into giant chickens, as far as I know.”

“Spoil sport. Let me get my keys.”

Too short a time later, they found themselves parked outside of Billy’s door. Dom looked over, admiring how streetlights threw Billy’s profile into orangey relief. “So... seeya tomorrow.”

Billy could just make out Dom’s face. “Bye, Dom.”

He disappeared inside, staring at his hands.

~

Billy woke up that morning to find a vase of deep red roses on his bedside table. He immediately thought of Dom; who had either snuck in and left them here or had snuck in and turned into them.

“Dom? Is that you?”

The roses shivered and became Dom, barefoot and slightly dripping. “You’re no fun.”

“I appreciate it, but... what were you doing?”

“Wading?”

“No really.”

“I thought that if I looked yummy enough you might want to sniff the roses and then I could bite your nose.”

When Billy stopped laughing, he wondered why he felt slightly disappointed.

~

The open road beckoned, and on their day off they answered that call. A bit too enthusiastically, they realized, as Dom caught sight of the Evil Flashy Lights in his rear view mirror. He pulled over smoothly, “Quick, Bill, Elvis or Princess Diana?”

“Elvis!”

The officer was surprised to say the least. He seemed about to go get back in his car and go drink himself silly, but had a horrible afterthought. “Can I have your autograph?”

Dom woefully produced his bandaged right hand, and managed to escape politely after hearing about the dangers of driving with an injured hand.

~

“All right, maybe that... thingie... is useful.”

“S’what I like about you, Billy. Nothing gets by you!”

“I wasn’t the one who found myself locked in a cupboard because I forgot what I was supposed to do!”

“Wonder who that could’ve been who locked me in there in the first place? Surely not Billy Boyd, he’s completely innocent.”

“Watch the sheep.”

“Thanks. Wouldn’t’ve liked to have experienced the joys of Exploded Sheep.”

“It’s not pretty. Once our whole flock just exploded; we were picking up sweaters for weeks after... though they were better made than the ones you buy nowadays.”

~

Dom threw himself across the sofa. “So what do you wanna do?”

Billy sighed lazily. “You’re the ‘creative’ one. You think of something. Turn into a golf ball and I can play golf, why don’t you.”

Dom winced at the thought. “Ouch.”

“Hey you could be antennae and we could listen to the radio?”

“Why don’t you just sing?”

“You’re telling me you’d rather hear me sing some boring old song than hear any song that could be on the radio right now.”

“Yeah.”

“You know what?”

Staring into space. “What.”

“You’re a bit weird.”

“Not weird, just in... boredom.”

~

“Hide me, Billy! Quick!”

Billy guided a panting cheetah into his living room. “What now?”

Dom mumbled something about Orlando, skydiving and a big trampoline. Billy decided not to prod further.

Dom calmed. “Ever wondered why I could turn into an orange and then have the brains to turn back into myself?”

“No, I never thought about that. Well as much as I’ve thought about how you can do it in the first place. Or why.”

“Why? ...’Cause it’s fun.”

“Good thing you haven’t started impersonating friends.”

“...”

“Oh no. Dommm.”

Dom snickered knowingly. “Better watch what you tell them.”

~

Billy became a little paranoid after that. He jumped a mile when his phone rang.

“H’lo?”

“Hi sweetie, it’s Ali. What’s up?”

“Prove it.”

“...Billy?”

“Gotcha.”

“Um.”

“Would you quit bugging me? I’m getting tired of this.”

“What?”

“Don’t play dumb with me!”

“I think Dom is affecting you. You’ve been so weird and rude lately.”

“Are you calling my Dom names?”

“Your Dom?”

“Stop it.”

“Alright. I’m getting tired of this. You acting all weird, spending all your time with YOUR Dom, my having to chase you everywhere just to be with you. It’s time we stopped all this.”

~

Billy was about to protest, but then he realized that he really didn’t care that much, and then he remembered that it was Dom pretending to be Ali. “What are you trying to trick me into, Dom? It’s not working. I know it’s you.”

“Billy, you’re mad! Absolutely mad. You’re obsessed with Dom, you even think your own girlfriend is him.”

“All right, I’ll play your game. I may be obsessed with him and totally mad and ‘affected’ but at least now that you’ve broken up with me you won’t have to bother with me again.”

Fuming, he rung off.

~

He seriously needed to go play his guitar for a while or something. He’d lost his temper with Dom. This was not good. He sighed to himself. “Oh Dom, I’m sorry.” Losing tempers was nothing knew in their world, but for Billy it was serious. But he said Billy was obsessed with him and he had AGREED? What was he thinking? He had been just asking for Dom to find out that... find out?

Billy decided to get up and get himself some much-needed tea. He shoved himself of the chair, turned towards the door and ran straight into Dom.

~

Too much static, remembered Billy, too much static to have called from the other room.

“How much of that did you hear?”

Dom looked at him. “I came in just when you were saying ‘are you calling my Dom names’.”

Billy swore again, vaguely remembering something about trying not to lose his temper.

Dom shifted from foot to foot. “Um... I think we need to talk, Billy...”

“No, I have to go.” He slipped past Dom and out the door, remembering to grab his keys, speeding off to nowheres so fast that he doubted even a plane could catch him.

~  
TBC


End file.
